sexy

I feel so sexy when...

ok give me a second.

I forget.

Today

I am working as hard as I can today to do absolutely nothing. I am shuffling papers like none has seen before. To look at me; you would think "damn that guys busy!" But no. I am doing nothing. It's like I work for the government or am in a union.

Daily Commute

Have you ever sat on your own balls?

Fart

I have to fart
I have farted
I am farty
I am fartier than you
I am the fartiest

(Can you smell me know?)

Baseball

I woke up and I think I hurt my "Pujols" last night.

Time

When did drunken sunburned sex in the shallow end of a friends pool stop?
When did an hour's extra sleep become more valuable than sex?

Sex in public palace's has lost it's fashion.
Intercourse with friend's over became taboo.
Why does foreplay begin with; how tired are you?

In the car, up the leg of a pair of shorts in a theater, public restrooms,
all used to be common place. Now its no place.

Didn't used to know if it was the heat or the humidity.

Where did time go?

Rodney

I don't get no respect. I joined Gambler's Anonymous. They gave me two to one I don't make it.