Self Destructive

This may very well be my middle name.

Gray Curly Hair

On my beard you pervs.

What kind of sick person do you think I am??
Nevermind; Point taken.

How I Met my Wife

I was drunk. I was dancing. I literally ran into her on the dance floor. I thought her name was Sheri. When the cops came and broke up the party I didn't get her number. A few days latter she saw me by chance on campus (both our classes had been canceled that day). It turned out her name was Jennifer.

We exchanged numbers, had a few great conversations over the phone. Set a date. It turned out that the Rodney King verdict was announced the day before and the LA riots started. Mostly because we were young and dumb, we went out anyhow. We still joke today the I took her up to LA to pillage for a VCR and a new pair of tennis shoes.

I took her to Seal Beach. A little food, a moon light walk on the pier watching the waves crash on the beach, Los Angeles burning in flames from a race riot in the distance. Very romantic.

It wasn't love at first sight. For me it took awhile. But eventually I finally realized I found a woman who could tell me to go to hell and make me happy for it.

As we continued to date I found myself wanting to spend every minute with her. She made me a better man. I couldn't imagine life without her by my side. She laughs at my raunchy jokes. Pulls my finger when I have to blow gas and yet is extremely feminine and gentile at the same time. (She also has an ass that won't quit). I thank God every day for blessing me with her love.

Now if I could only get her to vacuum.

What's the Deal with my Big Toe

What's the deal with my Big Toe. It has a little afro growing on it. It always had a little hair on it. But damn now it's a fro. My feet already smell like French Cheese, Now they're hairy too. I guess I'll just were shoes every where. In the shower, in the pool, to bed.

People will see me on the street and say "Hey there goes that guy who never takes his shoes off!" and I'll have a snappy come back like "oh yea!". Maybe I'll work on that come back.

Maybe I'll just change my shoes in the dark with the window open or something. Hiding in shame with my hideous big toe.

Next week: "What's the Deal with my Balls"

Anger

Sometimes I just want to punch someone in the stomach.

It could be you.

But I am to much of a puss to hit anyone.

You're so lucky.

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note

My ass itches.

Kip has just left California.

Those two comments are not related.

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