Jenny

"Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright
It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night
As rich as a jewel in an ethiops ear
Beauty too rich for use, For earth too dear
So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows
As yonder lady o'er her fellows shows
The measure done, I'll watch her place of stand
And, touching her, make blessed my rude hand
Did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight
For i ne'er saw true beauty till this night"

911

Two hunters were in the woods when all of a sudden one of them collapses down onto the ground.
The other one was scared, so he took out his cell phone and called 911.
The operator picked up and asked for details about the emergency.
The hunter said in a figdety voice, "We, we were hu hu hu hunting in the woods and he just collapsed!
I think he died!!! What do I do?? Please help me!"
The operator replied calmly, "Ok, first make sure he's actually dead."
A long silence was followed by a loud bang.
The hunter came back to the operator and asked, "Okay, now what???"

Knock knock

Blonde: "Have you heard about my knock knock joke?"

Brunette: "No I haven't"

Blonde: "Ok then you go first"