Tuesday, March 30, 2004

I'm Sick

I woke this morning and had to take a chisel through the snot that had built around my nose.

No Gold.

My voice sounds like Barry White.

No rhythm.

taking three yellow pills every 6 hours.

No high. (God bless Elvis)

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Thursday, March 25, 2004

Richie Rocks

I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?

I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know

'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you ...

Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you

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Office Antics

I farted into the air-conditioning intake; blowed my pungency throughout the office.

I'm a giver.
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Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Buy a Dream

Buy a lotto ticket. Spend it in your head. Crap on your bosses desk.
Live how you like. Live in a house on a hill or on the water.
Eat out every day. Have a maid clean the toilet.

(don't even bother checking the numbers, you can't win)

You only buy the tickets for the dream anyhow.
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Monday, March 22, 2004

Daily Minutes

dis·en·fran·chise [ dìssən frán chz ] (past dis·en·fran·chised, past participle dis·en·fran·chised, present participle dis·en·fran·chis·ing, 3rd person present singular dis·en·fran·chis·es)

transitive verb

deprive of right, especially voting: to deprive a person or organization of a privilege, immunity, or legal right, especially the right to vote
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Monday, March 08, 2004

What They Say

What they say...
Hey, I like you shirt.

What they Mean...
That is the ugliest shirt I have ever seen. Someone should jam a fork in your ear for wearing it.

What they say...
I like this guy, he has a quirky sense of humor and an unique style of dressing.

What they mean...
Fag

What they say...
We are going to have to reevaluate some of our expenses this quarter.

What they mean...
Your next on my hit list you no kneed son of a bitch. Better post you resume or you'll be flipping burgers with the tards at McDonald's.

What they say is...
Oh your lunch looks delicious.

What they mean is...
I would rather let my dog eat cat shit than the crap your swiveling down. My God this is America not some back ass third world hole in China. Eat meat. The good kind. Not the left over asshole parts. People died in wars so we can eat a frigin' Whopper. Dumb ass vegan's.

What they say...
You have a bright carrier ahead of you. Keep up the good work and in time you will be rewarded.

What they mean...
Fag
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adopt your own virtual pet!