Stupid Things Women Do

1. Look down before you sit on the crapper. Why is the guys responsibility to put the seat down. Women should put the seat up! I mean how stupid do you have to be to fall into the toilet water night after night. I don't walk into walls because I'm looking were I'm walking; look were you sit.

2. Just because you have a coupon doesn't mean you should buy it. As Dennis Miller once said "two of shit is still shit!". Spending less is still spending! Panty hose 3 for $25.00 (fine) on the Sears credit card at 22% with 3 easy payments (NO).

3. If a light goes on. If you see smoke. If a puddle of oil is starting to form under you car. Guess what it's time for a mechanic!

4. A candy bar is not off set with a Diet Soda.

5. If you really don't want the answer don't ask the question. Just so we could save time ... Your ass looks big in those jeans.

I just wanted to Say

EAT MY SHHIIITTT

A comment from MSN

Just go away nowI consider myself a tolerant person. I accept the talented and talentless equally. I realize not everyone can sing like Sinatra or Streisand. Usually, I applaud the effort, even if the result is unsatisfactory. On the handful of occasions when I have been at a karaoke bar, I clap my hands supportively for each and every participant, regardless of how pitiful their attempts. That’s just the kind of guy I am.

But I believe there are limits, and Ashlee has crossed mine, and I believe, the world’s. She is using her status as the sister of Jessica Simpson in order to carve out a career for herself. How anyone can listen to Jessica, let alone Ashlee, borders on the stupefying. But I see stories on the news all the time about con artists who separate people from their life savings. I know there were scads of gullible viewers who tuned in to watch Geraldo Rivera open Al Capone’s vault. I realize that humans are flawed, and sometimes those flaws can have disastrous consequences.

What I hope and pray for now is that Ashlee will go away and leave the public alone. On behalf of the world community, I implore her to pursue another career. There are many avenues for a young woman of her abilities. Pig farmers need wranglers. The U.S. Forest Service has many outposts in remote areas of our nation’s parks, where one can make all the noise one wants and not be heard by another soul for miles. And if she’s determined to remain in the entertainment field, the horror genre in Hollywood could always use a good screamer.

But Ashlee must cease and desist her professional singing career immediately. The lip-synching angered many. The Orange Bowl debacle undoubtedly caused thousands to seek counseling. What does she want next? Is she setting up some sort of blackmail scheme: “Give me $10 million or I’ll keep singing”?

If that’s the case, I’m prepared to donate generously. I don’t think I’m alone.

© 2005 MSNBC Interactive

Christmas Delight

WHAT THE HELL IS FIGGY PUDDING !!!!
and why is it still coming out of me...